If Apple Made A Car?

Wired has this neat little area of their site called Autopia. I’ve seen it mentioned before but had never clicked through until today. Something caught my eye about alt fuels. And it got me to wondering after I had finished the article…

If Apple made cars what would they make? What would the buzz be like before their first model ever hit the street? You know it would be intense!

Can you imagine the utter frustration of the folks over at Car & Driver who couldn’t manage to get a snapshot of it making laps on the test track?

I know this – It would be expensive. It would come in either white or black. It would probably have inadequate air conditioning. The battery would be the only thing the driver could replace without screwing the warranty. It would have a free recycling program. The surfaces would be highly prone to scratching and smudging.

It wouldn’t have standard or automatic transmission. It would have something totally proprietary with a cool name (like iMission but that sounds too close to eMission… which has bad connotations). No, their VP of Naming Stuff would have a super hot name for it. And it would never be licensed to any one, ever. But it would be copied by everyone. And the courts would side with the copiers.

Would it have an iPod port? Yeah, probably so. But no radio. How about the sound system? There’s this big pile of unsold speakers they need to do SOMETHING with…

Lessee… um… OH, almost forgot the ads for the car! Claim: It would never break down or require restarting and would come with more built-in stuff than the other car manufacturers put in theirs. It would also be more secure. Don’t know how. But it would!

APPLECARE FOR CARS!? Duh! Yes. This would be there too.

You know the showroom floor of the dealerships would be killer! Who wouldn’t want to go to a car service shop with a GENIUS BAR? Can that even be DONE!? Kind of like ‘sweet and sour’… shouldn’t work, but surprisingly does.

Well, the coffee’s done brewing and I have to tear out the downstair bathroom today. Pictures on FLICKR of that mess at noon.

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Explore posts in the same categories: Apple, Autopia, iPod, ipod hifi, iTunes, technology

8 Comments on “If Apple Made A Car?”


  1. […] If Apple Made A Car?I ve seen it mentioned before but had never clicked through until today. Something caught my eye about alt fuels. And it got me to wondering after I had finished the article If Apple made cars what would they make? … […]

  2. gmsw Says:

    LOL what a great piece of imagination. You made me laugh A LOT. Keep up the good stories!

  3. wellbe Says:

    We shared this with our staff

  4. Qwerty Maniac Says:

    iDrive. iControl, iCare, iCrash will be the technologies offered 😛

  5. rdent Says:

    Once again an obvious comparison comes to mind. If Microsoft made a car, anything that went wrong would require the engine and transmission to be removed and reinstalled.

    I’m still impressed with Apple design even on such simple things as having the iPod player pause if the headset jack comes out. Or the sheer number of options for the dock in OSX versus the Start menu in XP.

  6. gwhiz Says:

    🙂 I didn’t know my iPod would pause if the headphone jack comes out during play.

    Is that one of those things you learn when you read the manual!?


  7. […] cars that drive themselves. Which, is kinda cool. But, consistent with my earlier post on “If Apple Made a Car” I’d like to explore the allegory of a Google Car. So, here […]


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