If Microsoft Made A Car

OK, enough people have hit the original If Apple Made A Car post and have searched on the “other” possible manufacturers (Sun, MS, etc) and wound up here only to be disappointed that I’m going to take a swing at the obvious next entry.

If Microsoft made a car they would release their 2006 model in 2009. There would be no 2007, 2008 or 2009 models… just lots of parts replacements issued by the garage to tide everyone over until ??? whenever.

The names of the final, to-market models would be terribly bad and the codenames would be terribly good.

They would be accused of copying everyone else’s designs.

Their cars would be driven by over 90% of the people on the planet because, well, everyone else is driving one!

Their cars would be tailored for the local market they’re being sold in. Not because of demand but rather due to legislation.

They would NOT have built in RSS readers 😦

It is highly doubtful anyone but your child or grandchild could actually come close to getting peak performance out of the darned thing.

The mean age of the Micosoft car mechanic would be 12.

There would be no doorlocks.

All titles to Microsoft vehicles would come with a nifty hologram.

All nifty holograms would be available for 95% off original sticker price in large billion person dense population centers (deftly said without naming China specifically I think).

The aftermarket would be AWESOME!

They would all come with a highly agitatable bobble head doll bolted to the dash named Ballmer.

(Shall we take a shot at Sun next?)

Feel free to add your comments. Last time was a lot of fun!

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